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Illness Army: “9 Things I wish I knew when I first fell ill” –


Back in the Swirl, excerpt


Scars only remind us where we have been but they don’t dictate where we are going.

The past has kept you a prisoner for long years. Look at it square in the eyes and tell him:

Your hold over me is gone. You kept me on bondage because I didn’t know how to deal with you. Today, I know.
I forgive all wrong done to me.
I forgive all wrong I have done.
I cannot give you another minute of my life because life is too precious in spite of its challenges.

There is so much I want to do, there is so much I can do. There is so much to be enjoyed, to be explored, to learn, to be passionate about, to build, to share, to conquer.
I had plans once and you, my past, crushed them capriciously.

I warn you, I am stronger now.
My plans may not all have come to fruition but in the process other dreams have knocked on my door. New people, new enterprises, new endeavors; a plethora of possibilities that are mine to claim and no one is going to stop me from opening my door and welcome them in.

We will hold a joyous celebration because I am stronger, am wiser, am better equipped; these new dreams will occupy my mind and my hands, my eyes and my voice.

My new dreams and I will dance in a perfect choreography. Because you, my past, are not invited to my door.
Pleasant and unpleasant memories, people, and circumstances have been placed in a locked armoire.

I Am living in the present, the now, walking with my head held high and if one or two distractions scurry in they will help me to envision a preamble of my future for that is all I have time for, the now and the tomorrow.

It is not easy to let go of you, my past, but I have been handed previous tools to finally cast you aside.
Anger and resentment? No. God is my avenger. I have witnessed His justice and I Am satisfied.

I have invested precious time in counseling, medicines, uprooting deep seated  fears, unearthing my strengths, and polishing them.

I am walking away from you, my past, and I march into the “New Life”  that  graciously unfolds to reveal the New Me, the One who is not longer counting on you.