12 Types of Assholes: How to Spot Them Before It’s Too Late



I would  normally not be so blunt as to use the a … word. Foul language does not agree with my personality and since I follow the rule BE YOURSELF most of the time,  I do not resort to these expletives.

Having made this disclosure, Kudos to the article’s author.
Well said and very clear message.
This blog is intended primarily for a slew of chronic illnesses and the best tips to face our challenges and overcome them.

Depression is readily exacerbated by relationships failures. 
To all the gals who read this blog consistently, pay heed to each of the points mentioned in the Bolde.

If you are struggling in your relationship and you are left more depressed and unsatisfied by it than feeling complete and in harmony, take action. Cut the guy lose or talk your differences with a trained relationship counselor. That includes therapists, clergymen, life coach and friends who hold your best interest at heart and can be unbiased and objective.

Some points are deal beakers though.  Substance abuse is always a pass me by invitation.  Non – negotiable.

Life is short. Cliche or not that is reality. You are dealing with one or multiple health issues that are always agravated by stress.
Put yourself first when it comes to relationships. If you do not get what you desire, do not put up with it. You are moving forward to a more balanced, healthier, fulfilling life. Additional  drama has no space in your recovery plan.


Understanding the Language of Narcissistic Abuse. | elephant journal



Him. Years, some years after I do. 

Are you watching Law and Order again?
Haven’t I told you to not waste time on those episodes ? Go on and read your Bible! 

Why do you use so many ice cubes, it is a waste of money you know ?

Did you go to the library again? What sort of books did you check out? Let’s see. ..Hmmm waste of time. Again.

From now on, in this house we don’t cook more than a cup of rice daily. Do you understand? 

Did you not hear the phone? Answer it. 
Minutes later.  Why did you have to say what you said?  You are always wrong. You never know how to speak to people. 

You have not accomplished anything in your life. Raising children. That’s all you have to show off for yourself to the world. 

Is that a new wrinkke, white hair, a new age spot? Children, look at your mother’s flaws … she is getting so old.  Snickering laughter from him.

You are in your mid thirties but he needs you to believe him desperately. ..you are old, undesirable, not worthy of praise anymore.

The final blow,
in this house I am the bread winner, all the money is mine and I do with it as I please. I am taking away all credit cards from you. Stop taking your medications. I would never take you back to see a doctor. Never.

You know your health is declining. You need his support to stay afloat but he is cutting off the oxygen supply.

BD ( before divorce ) I  am a slave to you all. You and the kids.

PD ( Post divorce ),

My chidren are the love of my life. I live just for them. I work for them only. 

Children never heard the phrase BD
They never heard any of the million put downs and criticisms behind their backs

Your daughter is lazy
Your son is arrogant
They will never mount to anything in this life.

Your daughter is fat or slow or introverted or…
Your son is stupid, he is so full of it, he is not normal, and on and on and on …

These are the same children that post divorce are supposedly the love of his life? Ironic?  Hard to believe? That’s the facade the abuser hides behind it …

Oh, he knows how to torture you …where it hurts the most. But YOU and only YOU will hear these comments .

To the rest of the world, he is simply the BEST. The best father, the best husband, the best Co – worker, the best man at his parish, the best neighbor, the BEST yes, at hiding the truth and parade around, brim smile plastered on his face at the masquerade ball.
Because that is what his whole life has been, is and will be to the end, a perpetual masquerade ball.

The tears want to escape, salty and uncontrollably, but they have broken the dam so many times that you might welcome them or not. 

You think hard and remember. Remember the first time, the introduction, the sanctity of the ground you were standing up, the undivided attention, the coldest night you shared his coat and the warmth of his body, the solemn music, the vows, the kisses, the Majestic white dress,  your innocence, your naivete, your trust. You trusted him completely. You trusted him to always be there for you and you chose him as the vessel that could make the miracle Happen. Not once but several times over and you hold those precious gifts in your hands and you praise His name above for the tiny miracles, so tender and totally dependent on you.

You keep walking down the memory lane and along with those beautiful children you begin to wonder, why, why everything has changed,  why the criticism, the mockery, the name calling, the suffocating control.  You wonder what happened to the attentive, loving husband. Was it all a figment of your imagination?
It is too late for you. You are another victim of the unrepentant cycle of emotional abuse.
But it is never too late for the women in your life, the women at work, at the Parish, at home. Start educating your own daughters …and sons. Because a man needs to learn to be a gentleman, not a sorry excuse for a repeat of his father. 
Educate the young girls, the adolescents, the college gals, the young brides, the new mothers,  your dear personal friends and acquaintances.

Spread the word and raise awareness because mental,  psychological and emotional abuse DOES HAPPEN. Regardless of race, creed, social status and degrees hanging on the walls. It does Happen. And the victims do not comprehend  it until it’s too late and their voices have been silenced and their options are non existent. And those around them shush them up. Do not stir the pot. Hush hush .

No one can decide a woman’s future but herself. Yet, she needs a strong foundation to dream away, to soar high in the sky  and to cross off  her accomplished dreams from her My perfect life list.  Life itself is full of detours but a strong woman can navigate through those detours much more aptly if the right man is by her side.
All left to be done is read on this article and share it with the people that need it the most, the younger generations. 

Recognizing Depression in Children – NewLifeOutlook



I sincerely encourage adults who are in direct contact with children every day to read this article. 
Whether you are a parent, a grandparent, a teacher or a medical professional  this article might help you to identify children and adolescents suffering from depression.

There are significant differences between the way a young child or a teenager express their depression compared to adults.

A teenager, for example, might become hurtful, irritated and aggressive all of the sudden. Most of the time, this type of behavior is chalked up to typical puberty hormones. Not quite so.  Adolescence may be and it is a time of drastic changes in a young person but not all bizarre or significantly inappropriate behavior can be attributed to the influx of new sexual hormones. 

The increasing violence in our society, most noticeable in mass murders sprees, bullying, drugs, and the desintegration of families are some of the most prominent factors to impact significantly negatively our children.

I grew up in an era where children were just children, they would play outside all day long with their neighbors. They would be monitored by their neighborhood’s friends. Activities were all collectively shared by friends. Bicycle rides, hopscotch, hide and seek, fishing, playing marbles, were all games and Activities that kept us children engaged in healthy interactions with our peers.

The struggles of the adults were for the most part kept hidden from the younger generations.

There was more time to interact with our mothers and other family members. We had a support network that is not present anymore.

I firmly believe that all of those drastic changes in our society have contributed to the significantly rise in depression onset in our newer generations.

It is imperative therefore,  that we all become familiar with the signs and symptoms of chronic depression in the most vulnerable members of society – our children. 

I must emphasize that there are three distinctive  scenarios that contribute to  children and adolescents fall prey to the claws of depression. These are,  victims of abuse in any of its forms by relatives or non – relatives, victims of paternal abuse, and children who have witnessed  and lived through traumatic divorces. In general, all divorces wreak  havoc in children’s lives.

Another subset of children that do not fare very well in their development are those who live in a household where one of the parents is chronically ill. This might be a factor overlooked by most adults interacting with children but the fear of the uncertainty, the suffering and tears from the sick parent, the disruption in the family life caused by a chronic illness is in most cases too much to bear for a child making him prone to fall into the abyss of depression.
The old saying It takes a village to raise a child is as valid today as centuries ago.
Let us all unite our efforts for the benefit of the most precious gift in life;  our sons and daughters, our nephews and nieces, our grandchildren, our young patients, our pupils.